--What To Do If He Can't Get It Up If you’ve ever been with a guy and he couldn’t get it up, this video is for you.
Hi, I’m Lucy Goldman from LoveLearnings. I’ve been helping men and women find love for years. Sexual satisfaction is a huge part of a meaningful relationship. And one of the biggest obstacles to sexual satisfaction is, you guessed it, erectile dysfunction. So let’s get into it.
First off: I need you to know that this is not your fault.., many women blame themselves when their man can’t get it up. They worry it’s because they aren’t attractive, or sexually adventurous enough. This couldn’t be further from the truth. One of the biggest causes of this problem is actually nerves so you could say that he was TOO attracted to you. Take it as a compliment.
In equal measure, don’t blame him for what happened. This can be a very difficult and stressful situation for men. Your goal is to avoid this awkward moment again so keep your criticisms to yourself.
So if it’s no one’s fault then why does ED happen?
There are plenty of reasons why men have trouble getting an erection. Alcohol, medication, addiction, anxiety, diabetes, take your pick. In fact, more than half of men regularly experience ED and it’s on the rise, even among young men. Some researchers blame the problem on porn addiction--but I wouldn’t bring that up if I were you. In fact, don’t try to find any reason for him or make excuses. Your focus here should be on minimizing the awkwardness, not pointing it out.
That’s why my first tip is to keep your cool. Your reaction is the only thing you can control here and, no pressure, but it could make the difference the next time you two get into bed together. With that in mind, don’t stop the sexual encounter at the first sign of trouble. Some men just take a little while to get going so take your time with it.
This leads me to my next tip: Focus on Foreplay. Many women forget that foreplay is a two-way street. Men often take the lead in sexual situations but they enjoy being teased as much as we do. In this case it’s about keeping his mind occupied and turning him on. Figure out ways to light his fire while staying above the belt. You can kiss his neck, grind on him, or even do a sensual striptease
If you need more tips, Amy North’s Devotion System was designed with situations like this in mind. She knows how to keep men interested emotionally, spiritually and physically. Go to CoachNorth.com to learn more.
My next tip is that if your man pulls away and it becomes clear that it’s not going to happen, don’t force the issue. Just go back to cuddling and kissing. If you end the sexual encounter there, it’s more likely to stand out as awkward. There are plenty of ways to have fun even if he’s experiencing ED.
My best advice is that you shouldn’t make it a big thing--he sure didn’t. Jokes aside, it really does happen to a lot of guys and it’s what you do next that can make or break this interaction. The great thing is, you don’t have to do much. Just be cool and casual about it. Let him know you don’t care and reschedule for another time. Don’t laugh, joke or run away.
Keeping this casual is so key because failure to perform is most often a psychological problem. That means the more you think about it and focus on it, the more likely it is to happen again. We all know that a watched pot never boils. So don’t keep bringing it up and you should be just fine.
But what if it’s too late to play it cool? You’ve already reacted badly to this and you’re wondering what to do next. I’d advise offering him an apology, eventually. Just don’t bring it up until the next time you have a successful sexual encounter. When this happens, apologize for how you acted and emphasize how good it was this time around.
If this is an ongoing problem in your relationship, you may have to look deeper. There are medical solutions in situations like this and the prescription of ED drugs has become more common even among younger men. These can be a good stop gap so he can get his confidence back, like taking a sleeping pill to regulate your sleep schedule.
And as I said earlier, there are plenty of ways be intimate even if your partner can’t get an erection. Sexting, reading erotic literature, and giving each other sensual massages can all help the two of you relax and enoy yourselves.
In the end, most men have this problem every once in awhile. So don’t let erectile dysfunction soften your romance. Thanks for watching and don’t forget to like and subscribe.
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