I'm Shut In The Broken Lift with Football Players

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Transcript:

Life works in funny and mysterious ways. If there ever was a world competition on whose life is most dramatic and weird, I think mine would emerge at the top.

Welp! Let me assure you though, that’s the only thing I can ever win on. But, it’s not something to be bragged about, to be honest.
Like, yeah, sometimes I do wish that I had that kind of luck in something productive? For example, my studies or maybe getting along with people? That would be especially neat. As this is where my existential problem remains..
Oh, don’t even get me started on getting along with people. It’s like I physically repel the human species. I swear, I don’t stink and I am not bad to look at (am actually the pretty type). Everyone just has a problem with my…attitude.

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